One of the toughest kind of speeches to make is an after-dinner speech since everyone will be feeling sleepy after their meal. And worse, they may not even give you their full attention. There are many things that can go wrong and as an after-dinner keynote speaker, there are a couple of things you have to observe in order to be successful or at the very least, to sit down without feeling embarassed.

1. Find an appropriate topic

As a speaker, you have to find a topic that ALL your audience can relate to. And this applies to all kind of speeches, particulatly after-dinner speeches. There are many things that are against you. At most dinners, tables are rounded. That means to say that a percentage of your audience has their back facing you. Circular tables also facilitate small talks which gives them another reason not to listen to you. Your audience’s attention span is also not at its highest. Many of them may still be enjoying their desserts. You have waiters and waitresses walking around to clear the dishes, which can be both distracting for your audience and you! As you can see, there are many reasons for them not to listen to you. You do not need to give them another one.

So spend at least 30% of your time researching your audience. Find out more about the organization. Find out more about your audience – what do they do, what are some of their concerns, what are the taboo topics. The organizer would be a great resource for you to understand the audience. Sometimes they may even propose some topics that you can talk about. It also helps to be aware of the current trends in the world because very likely, your audience knows about it as well, and they would be able to relate when you talk about it.

Let me give you a specific example. Last night I attended a dinner that was commemorating the Asian-Pacific American Heritage Month. The audience were made up of various Asian ethnic communities that come together to promote understanding and acceptance of the different Asian cultures and heritage. I thought their vision was commendable and the keynote speaker could emphasize on the importance of collaboration and acceptance (since that was what drove them to set up this association)

However one of the speakers took the entire 15 minutes his tribulations in Vietnam and how he was invited to be part of the association. Quite frankly, the entire speech was about HIM, and not about the audience. That’s a major turn-off. What he could have done is to explain the increasing importance of the association and how each and everyone of them can benefit from being part of this association. Notice how the focus changes. It is more audience-centric and there is a take home message. What I got our of the speaker’s speech was “Wow… he was imprisioned for three years in Vietnam…”

2. Own the space!

Right after the war survivor was yet another keynote speaker. He started off well with a story about how people would always ask about his nationality. That created some laughs and he was off for a good start. And then the entire speech went crashing. At the end of his speech, I felt extremely embarrassed for him.

Firstly, no one except for the three tables in front (out of courtesy) were listening to him. Everyone else was busy chattering away, walking in and out of the restaurants to make phone calls. It doesn’t help that he stood behind the podium. It doesn’t help that he was reading from his script with his eyes down most of the time. It doesn’t help that he was inaudible. It doesn’t help that he failed to salvage the situation. Amidst of the chaos, he gave his speech, oblivious to the fact that he is losing everyone. And the organizer has to go around shushing everyone. How embarassing and unnecessary!

One advice for him: You got to own the space!

When you come up on stage, you got to consciously tell yourself that you are in charge. You own the space! Every inch of the room belongs to you. Every single one of your audience is obliged to drop everything that they are doing and listen to you. Even the waiters and waitresses will stop in their steps and listen to you. Every thing that you do or not do commands the listening of your audience. In other words, nothing else matters except you. That’s how powerful a speaker can be if he effectively manages the “energy” of the room. One way to do that is through a visualization exercise before your speech. Imagine yourself walking confidently up on stage. Hear the reverberating sound of your foot steps as you walked up on the stage. Feel the anticipation of your audience as you walked towards to the podium… Make use of all your five senses to create the best speech you can ever made. You can even add a standing ovation at the end of your speech! And guess what, you have almost won the entire game even before you start!

And among all other things, avoid standing behind the podium and project your voice to the back of the room. Make sure that everyone can see and hear you. Only that will they be able to feel your speech and be inspired by your message!

The next time you listen to an after-dinner speech or give one yourself, watch how these two principles manifest itself. Good luck!

It has been a while since I play the role of the audience. Last night was one such opportunity. The presenter was an intern from Shanghai and he flew in with his boss to States. His presentation was titled “Life in China” with the aim of sharing with us his experiences. He did relatively well but hit several boo-boo which I thought reduce the effects of his presentation. And these boo-boo weren’t really new. Speech coaches and Public Speaking books/e-books/blogs have warned us against committing these seemingly innocent crimes, at the expense of losing your audience. But you know what, people still do it. All the time. Instead of reinterating the points, I shall get you into the head of the audience (since I was one yesterday) and perhaps illustrate why you should avoid these boo-boos.

Boo Boo #1: Not telling us why we should listen to you

Never assume that just because you have an audience, they are obliged to listen to you. We may love you (that’s why we came in the first place) BUT never take advantage of the trust we have for you. This is extremely a turn-off when I have to do the work i.e. figure out how it is relevant to me. We are a bunch of selfish ego-maniacs. We love ourselves so much! And we don’t care about your experiences UNLESS it teaches us something that we can use for OURSELVES. So here’s a word of advice: If you want to share your experiences, please do. But always include a message, something that will benefit us, your beloved audience!

Boo Boo #2: Ignoring us throughout your speech

We get bored easily. Period. If you keep talking about you, you, you, you, you… we will switch off. We want to be part of your speech. We really do. Get us involved. It could be as simple as asking us a question. It gives us a chance to hear ourselves talk. It could be as simple as playing a mini game with us. It gets us up the seat. Entertain us please! Make us love you. We really want to. But if you keep ignoring us and our needs, we will do the same.

Lucky for him, he allowed us to ask questions at any point in his presentation and guess what, we did! In my opinion, that was his saving grace!

Boo Boo #3: Going overtime

No matter how good you are, NEVER EVER go over time!!! Unless we paid you thousands of dollars to teach us something and you are about to share with us the ultimate secret to earning another ten million. If you want your audience to love you, end earlier than expected! It tells us that you respect our time. It makes you special coz’ most speakers don’t observe that. And guess what, the next time you give your speech, we will be there to support you!

I am back with more pointers on how to be a better speaker, straight from the CASA Acapella Summit.

4. Focus on your strengths and minimize your weaknesses
This is pretty much a reiteration of my post on the importance of awareness. Click here Know your strengths. Perfect them. Know your weaknesses. Cover them with your strengths. But I have a question: Should a speaker stick to one style (that he/she is known for) or experiment new styles? (Will tell you more when I get some answers)

5. PRACTICE MAKES PERMANENCE!!!
One of the reasons why people get stage fright is because of the lack of practice. And there are two aspects of practice. One form of practice is the rehearsal. Doing it over and over again until you can do it effortlessly. This is when you can start improvising on stage since you know your stuff very well. Another aspect of practice is speaking as often as you can. At all occasions, be it to a big crowd or a small crowd. This will definitely give you all the brownie points you need. Remember, practice makes permanence.

6. Music happens where there are no notes. Magic happens when there are no words.
The first line was by the music director, which inspired the the second line. No words = Pauses. I always have a problem of speaking TOO fast. Nervousness probably. But I realise that having pauses in your speech not only give your audience resting space, it also creates suspense. Pauses is one of the mechanics behind humor by the way. So watch yourself. See if you can insert pauses in your speech. Before your punchline. Before your main point. Try that. Coz that’s when magic happens.

Last month, I attended the Acapella Summit with a group of music lovers. And in one of the workshops, they taught singers about stage presence. And interestingly, I found these tips very applicable to speakers too. Here’s what I have jot down. Let me share with you the first three.

1. Find the floor and ground yourself

How many times have you found yourself distracted by speakers that keep pacing around aimlessly? Instead of focusing on their speech, you wonder where the speaker will be heading next (literally!) And as an audience, this action is associated with nervous ness and lack of confidence. Hardly traits you want to be associated with, which explains the importance of finding a spot to ground yourself. Pyschologically, you will create a sense of stability to your audience. And from that spot, you can start exploring the stage. (Another topic altogether). So the next time you give your speech, watch how you flutter around the stage!

2. Three Seconds Rule

The speaker shared about how singers will stroll onto stage and get ready. For example, making small talks or doing mike test, drinking water etc. And she mentioned that singers should be INTIMATE IMMEDIATELY! No time to waste. How true! That’s the reason why I would recommend speakers to go to their speaking venues an hour earlier. Get yourself prep up. Test the mike (if you use one). Try standing on the stage. Try walking around. Coz when you get on stage, there is NO time to be ready! You have 3 seconds to create an impression. And I presume you want to make a good one! So go on stage and jump right into your speech. Start with an attention grabber that will engage your audience immediately. You have only three seconds to prove yourself. Shine!

3. Don’t close your eyes

OK I will explain. Know how some singers will get so self absorbed in themselves (or their song). They will close their eyes and sing, like what Witney Houston always does. Here’s the thing. You aren’t a super star so stop tempting fate by breaking contact with your audience.

This underscores the importance of engaging your audience ALL THE TIME. Eye contact is just one way to do so. But do remember that whatever that you do in your speech, you should always engage the audience. They are a jealous and insecure bunch of people. It starts with the message. Is your message applicable to them? Are they able to relate to your story? Then your body language. Are you distracting them or are you adding omph into your speech? Things like that. Never ever lose your audience. Read what Tom has to say about brainstoppers. See April 7 post. Definitely an excellent way to break the connection with your beloved audience.